Peaceful Loneliness

Source: Pinterest

Dear fellas,

Here I am again! As usual, sitting on my bed with my laptop on my lap in the middle of the night. I guess writing a blog would be my new routine before going to sleep. I must say that this is probably the best time for me to write because before I go to sleep I usually doing self-reflection like "what have I done today?" "have I done something wrong today?", "do I look okay today?", "what sort of things that I can do better tomorrow?", and the list is endless.

Something that currently bothering my mind is how people's reaction when I love to go anywhere alone, or doing things only by myself. People's reaction was like seeing me as a pathetic human being, while for me it's extremely okay to spend my precious time alone. Some reaction was like "What's so great going to the mall alone?", "Where's your boyfriend? How can he be so mean letting you alone?", "Do you need a companion?", "Alone? No way", "You don't have a friend to go with?", and the list is endless.

Dear anyone, I'm really okay. I'm totally okay. I'm extremely okay to be alone to go somewhere else.

First of all, I love solitude. When being alone, I can do whatever I want without anyone bothering me. I can go anywhere I want without any interruption. I can be selfish because I don't need to think about any other's existence. When I'm alone, I don't need to sacrifice things on my list or doing something I have no interest in. Sometimes when I'm around people, there's a certain need to make sure that everyone has a good time because one person mood affects the entire group. When I'm alone, I can move faster than the other people, or I can set my pace whatever I want. Believe me, when going with a group of people, things take more time because somebody takes a longer time to be ready, or somebody needs to go here and there. Yeah, I'm that suck dealing with people.

Secondly, I'm easily nervous when I'm around many people. I'm more comfortable with the small group of good friends rather than in a big group. The smaller it is, the more quality of its conversation would be. I love the intimacy and deep conversation with my closest friends, but I love it more when I have a deep conversation with my only mind. When I'm alone, it really allows me to know myself more and have a lot of time with my thoughts. There's no interruption when I'm drowning in my imagination, there's no disturbance when I'm observing everything around me. This quality time with my thoughts is my favorite time to form ideas for designing or writing especially everything based on what I had been observed, alone. When I'm alone, it allows me to learn the value and the importance of loving myself. It makes me a more independent person, it makes me learn to solve anything by myself. This is something I probably would not get when I'm with a big group.

So, I guess that's all what I really want to point out. My eyes are getting tired now, I need to get some sleep.

Regards,
Sita.