The Importance of Learning English

Picture's source: Pinterest

I might be an Indonesian but I use English in any kind of social media most of the time, including this blog. The main reason why I make this blog is not only sharing my personal experience and thoughts but also to increase my English writing skill. It's not that I don't like Bahasa Indonesia but I thought that by speaking English I would get wider audiences across the nation, especially my interests are about travel and design. It's really good to share with people across the nation about our interests, we would likely get something that we've never heard or seen before. In order to get along with the people from abroad, having a proficiency in English is the key to everything.

I remember when I was a kid, my parents forced me to go to an English course. I was upset back then because I didn't know the reason why I had to be able to speak English at such a young age. I thought my parents just being a fool for forcing me because I had no idea the importance of learning English and they kept saying it was for my future, while I had no idea what future was like. There was a time my parents almost gave up to take me to an English course until they decided to subscribe to a TV Cable (TV that includes the international channels) to let me watch a variety of cartoons instead of soap opera (sinetron). I was freaking out when there was no Indonesia subtitle on Cartoon Network and then I complained to my parents because I couldn't understand anything on TV. My parents easily said "I told you" and that was the day when I decided to learn English.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where those who learn English are most likely being bullied such as "gausah sok Inggris lo" or "nggak nasionalis lo". Those who speak or learn English are seen as smart-ass or wanting to show off. This has led people to be afraid to learn or speak English because every time they try to, they always being mocked. This happens everywhere including in a big city where foreigners or tourists come and go. This kind of mortification makes people have less confidence to speak English, even when they're grown up. Some people think that by speaking English means that we're no longer love our own language. Some people like to make fun of those who don't speak like the native speakers' accent which makes no sense to me. For me, learning a new language is not about to sound exactly like the native speakers but to communicate.

Let's get real, English has been a part of our life and it's the most spoken language in the world. Wherever we are, we can't deny the existence of English, even most of the job vacancies require us to have proficiency in English. Learning English is not only about being able to watch a movie without subtitle or being able to speak with the foreigners but also to wide up our opportunity in many things such as joining student exchange or participating in an international forum. It's really great to be able to transfer knowledge from people with a variety of backgrounds and all of them are united with English. Not only that, most of the literature is written in English so if you want to gain knowledge of everything, the first thing we have to conquer is to be able to comprehend English. You already one step further compared to those who don't learn English in digging knowledge.

Let me guess, you have at least one or two (or many) favorite artists coming from the Western, right? Either it's Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber, or Maroon 5, whatever. There must be a time when you stalk their social media just want to know their latest updates or you accidentally found a scandal about them. How could you understand their latest news when you don't even know what they're saying? Being able to speak English will make you easily reach them. You can say hi or just give them a compliment of what they've created, don't think about the reply but at least you try to reach them. Well, perhaps one day you could meet them in person? You don't want to miss a once-in-a-lifetime-chance to talk to them in person, right? You're not only being able to reach them but also get in touch with their fans across the nation too, right?

By being able to speak English, you no longer need to limit yourself. Have you ever skip watching a movie because there's no Bahasa Indonesia subtitle? Or you skip going abroad because you have no idea how to communicate with the locals? Or you skip your internship opportunity abroad because you're lacking in speaking English? Or have you ever facing difficulties reading instruction in any electricity equipment (I rarely find the instruction letter in Bahasa)? Please keep in mind that there are many opportunities left if you don't realize how important English is. Having a proficiency in English is like a door wide open to any kind of opportunity.

In conclusion, being able to speak English is like a stepping stone to any kind of opportunity. You no longer need to limit yourself or worry about communicating with the locals when you go abroad. Not only that, having fluency in English makes you one or two steps further in digging knowledge and opportunities if compared to who don't.

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Life After Graduate

Dear fellas,

It's been a long time I don't write anything right here. I've just realized that it's been almost a year I have this blog, too bad I abandoned this. Before I'm saying anything, I would like to apologize for not being active on this blog. Life has been pretty rough and I'm having a hard time to manage everything at once. Life has been pretty overwhelming nowadays.

So, how was your day, guys? Hope you're having a great time. 

How about me? Well, I'm doing...... fine. I actually doubt it when I said that because I've been facing pretty complicated days lately. Since I've been MIA since months ago, I have so many things to tell you right here but I don't know exactly where to start. Believe it or not, I put a sticky note on my laptop consists of several topics that I would like to write in this blog such as my latest trip, my art journey, my watching-concert experiences, how the 'influencers' affect the whole generation, how I see millennials nowadays, the main problem of our education system, victim-blaming on sexual harassment, and many more. Since I'm not a good writer, it really takes time to actually write one article because I have to make sure everything is well written and stick with the topic. The struggle to write anything right here is actually real. Since one day only consists of 24 hours, I haven't really put this as my first priority. And that sticky note still remains on my laptop and I just see it as a speck of dust. From the topics that I've mentioned, well I might graduate as a designer, but I like analyzing social issue especially when it happens in Indonesia. 

So first thing first, now I'm working as a freelance interior designer and also a cafe owner with my brother. Everything that I do right now is basically a family business. My mother is an interior designer too and in a short-term, I would replace her: continuing her career as well. I have a cafe called Better Than Your Ex (BTYE for short) and you can check it out on Instagram @betterthanyourex.id. Our favorite dish is Salted Egg Chicken Rice and Ice Thai Tea. To tell you the truth, we expected the coffee would be the best seller ones when it turns out it's not but it's okay anyway. We were very selective with choosing the kind of coffee beans when it turns out people love our rice boxes and Ice Thai Tea. Since nowadays food delivery service is around the corner, people prefer to order with Go-food instead of dine-in. We've been struggling to decorate our place as well but most people prefer staying at home and choose the delivery order. Haha. My part on BTYE is handling social media, doing digital marketing, as a graphic designer and a photographer too. Thanks God I graduated from design school so I have skills and knowledge about branding image or visual branding. No need to spend expenses on hiring a graphic designer or a branding consultant. Scrolling through Pinterest and other photographer's social media has made me gaining knowledge about the best composition of food photography too. BTYE is still like a baby, it needs an extra care to grow up.

My life after graduate is more like emotionally adapting with the new phase. I must say that this year has a huge turning point in my life, many differences are made compared to the previous years, so many unexpected things happened yet so many things to learned. Graduating from the university means that every decision that I make would likely affect the rest of my life. Birthday is no longer about throwing a party or blowing up candles but mentally growing up. The pressure from your peers or your family is real. Being 20s are super sensitive, we might start on the same starting line but it turns out each person has a different path that leads us to the different finish line too, and some of us don't even recognize our path. Sometimes, life after graduation is about racing with others: racing to which one is successful first, where each person has a totally different meaning of "successful". Society expects us to reach the "ideal life" such as getting married as soon as possible, having kids on 25, having landed house before 30, working in a sophisticated company, be 'successful' before 30, and many more. It only requires a common sense to comprehend that everyone has their own timeline, and it's up to them.

Being a freelancer has its pros and cons. Thank God I live in the internet era where it provides me with more opportunity with flexibility when it comes to working. But you know what? It's not always as good as it seems. Being a freelancer means that I'm only working with myself most of the time. To be honest, I feel lonely, sometimes. Yeah I know I have flexible working hours even I can watch a movie in a cinema when everyone is in the office or I can take days off whenever I want. But I enjoy it all alone. I have to admit that I miss having a great talk during lunch with my peers, or working overnight together, or going to office events, or having a coffee together after office. The feeling of isolation makes me feel bad sometimes but it's something I have to deal with no matter what.

Being a freelancer means that there's no certainty in your life. You don't know whether you'll be paid this month, you don't even know whether you have something to work on every month. Every day is about waiting for the proposals to be approved. You don't work 9 to 5, but 9 to 0.00 and sometimes more. You don't know whether your cafe would be filled up with customers every day, you don't know how much income you would likely to get every month. You can get thousands dollar in a month but you don't even know how much money you would have next month. Every day is basically is a mystery. Sometimes I can't even relate how wonderful the beginning of the month (awal bulan) is because every day feels the same.

Life after graduate makes me learn to DEAL with a variety of people. When at school, people were basically under the same frequencies, you would more likely have the same thought, ideas, surroundings, the differences are not that matter. When in real life, I'm facing the 'real people'. There was a time a customer came to our cafe not ordered anything but mocking us. Yeah, only mocking us and saying that this cafe was no good. There was a time that I felt being underestimated of continuing my mother's career and suggested to work in an office as an employee instead to have kepastian hidup.

Last not least, life after graduate feels like being in a land of anxiety. I'm worried about anything, about where my life takes me in the next few years, about the adult shits I have to deal for the rest of my life, about the decisions I've made in the first place. I'm worried about my life purpose in this world and why do I have to be in this world if it doesn't mean 'something' to this world (yeah I know it sounds too much or too philosophical). The anxiety creeps me in until my head is going to explode. I'm worried about what I've done so far and compared to the others that makes me think that I don't really achieve that much. I thought teenage years would be the most complicated phase in my life when it turns out adulting is way more confusing.

Yeah, so much to deal with. My current day is more likely about emotionally and mentally growing up. The adjustment between school life and real life makes me insane sometimes. But everything that I do today is basically what I decide in the first place after all.

It's getting late, I need to have some rest to deal with tomorrow. Have some rest too my dear friends.

LR

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Singapore Solo Trip #2

Dear fellas,

I've just realized that the previous post is all about Fall Out Boy concert, so let me write about the Singapore city itself. While in Singapore, I tend to forget about taking the car or taxi, I prefer going anywhere with MRT, bus, or taking a walk. The pedestrian area is really supporting me to take a stroll anywhere. Believe me, I can take a walk from City Hall to Marina Bay Sands (yeah most people have done it, but most of my peers would prefer to take a bus). During this trip, I tried my best to do what the locals do like eating in hawker center, take a stroll along the street, visit museums or galleries, getting lost, and the list is endless. Yeah to tell you the truth, I don't actually or precisely know what the locals do but I mean I want to do what the tourists don't do. My previous Singapore trips were mostly spending time in shopping at Orchard Road, spending the whole day at Universal Studios, buying gifts at Mustafa or Bugis Street, taking pictures at Merlion, and many more. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to do those things but I'm so done with it and I want to explore something new.

While traveling, instead of taking pictures of myself right here and right there, I prefer to take pictures of something that pleasing my eyes such as street photography. I really love how the composition of a moment captured into a photo, the unpredictable circumstances that never fail to surprise me, documenting the life the way it is, looking every corner of the street for the perfect angle, and there's a satisfaction after having great shots. If you take a look on my Instagram, you'll notice that I rarely post a picture of myself. Well, I'm not a narcissistic person or have a beautiful face. In fact, there are so many more interesting things to be shared instead of posting 100 selfie photos.

Well, here are the pictures I took during the trip. Hope you can enjoy it!

Golden hour in the middle of the concrete jungles

Something common here yet rare in my hometown: to have a picnic on the park

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Singapore Solo Trip - Fall Out Boy Concert

Dear fellas,

Singapore has been my favorite city to have a short escape because its location is not that far from Jakarta (it only takes 1 hour and 30 minutes travel time by airplane) and the environment is totally different if compare to Jakarta. Moreover, Singapore has always provided more variety choices of international concerts, a true heaven for a concert-goer like me.

Well, believe it or not, I've been planning for this trip since six months ago because I promised myself that once I got a bachelor degree, I had to give myself a gift: a solo trip. I also promised myself that every expense is by myself, so I started saving and making money to afford all of the tickets and accommodation. I didn't plan to go to Singapore at first, I was planning to hike a mountain in Bromo, or having a culinary trip in Yogyakarta, or sailing in Komodo National Park. But once Fall Out Boy announced that they would have a tour in Singapore, and not coming to Jakarta, I was freaking out. I've been a fan of them since I was in elementary school and I've never watched their live concerts before. Actually they went to Jakarta five years ago but unfortunately, I couldn't make it for some reasons. So I changed my plan and bought all of the tickets before the price is getting expensive.

Since accommodation and living costs in Singapore are a bit expensive than Jakarta and all of the expense is by myself, I've tried my best to minimize the expenses. Luckily, I got a cheaper price for the flights by using Scoot Airlines (Rp 1000k return trip) and actually, I could get Rp 600k return trip if I ordered them one week earlier. For the accommodation, I stayed in Eighteen by Three Cabins. You know what? It's the best hostel I've ever stayed because this was the only hostel that providing a private bedroom with an acceptable price. The location is pretty strategic, it's in the middle of the central business district, near MRT stations, near hawker center (food courts = affordable price!), and it's only 2.5 km from Marina Bay Sands. It's totally worth it for all the backpackers or solo travelers and I would definitely stay there again one day.

If you read the title above, perhaps you would be asking why I wanted to do a solo trip or not going with someone else. Well, I've explained it in a post here why I love going anywhere alone, and I hope it really answers your question. Lol. I already asked some of my friends whether they wanted to come with me and their reaction was as I expected. They were okay to watch the concert, but they were not okay to put an effort to go to Singapore. Haha. Before I went to Singapore, I just figured out the FOB Indonesia fanbase through Twitter which just in case they went to Singapore too. I thought it would be a great idea to gain new friends with the same interests especially in watching concerts abroad because it's kinda rare here. GRATEFULLY THEY WENT TOO. I was invited to a LINE Group and it consists of five persons (all of us are girls!). All of us has the same music interest, and we like to watch a concert alone too. Basically, we have the same reason: the international artists that coming to our town is once in a blue moon so we don't want to miss it just because we don't have a companion. Two of us even have gone to Tokyo for watching Radiohead and Sydney for watching Green Day. I conclude that I'm just a beginner among them and my journey is still far ahead haha. It's really great to find people with the same mindset as myself because to tell you the truth, I'm really tired with people yelling at me that it's really weird to go to a concert alone. So, finally, all of us met up at the venue.

The concert was held in Zepp Bigbox, Jurong. It was pretty far from the city and it took 30 minutes to get there by MRT. To tell you the truth, it was the farthest destination in Singapore I've ever had, lol. The environment was a bit different, it was less tall buildings than the main city. Everything that I saw during the journey was apartments, factories, schools, houses, and university (Nanyang). What surprised me was the concert venue was located in the same building with the furniture store that I thought I was going to the wrong place :'). And finally, I noticed the crowded that I truly believe it was the venue. I'm saying this because mostly concert venue usually held in a place like a stadium or gigs. But, Zepp Bigbox is totally a great place to hold an intimate concert.

The concert was promoted by LAMC Production and I must say that the promoter was really well-prepared with anything that the crowds need. Other concerts usually not allowing us to bring any food and drink inside the venue. but LAMC was selling food and drink for us and we were permitted to bring them inside. The promoter also provided us the lockers so people who brought bulky bags didn't need to worry about their belongings, something that I never came up in my mind because most concerts I've ever been to never provided any lockers. This is really beneficial for those who came from their office heading straight to the venue, yeah you know that bringing a laptop or bulky backpack would give you sore in arm and back.

The concert went pretty great, absolutely amazing. The lighting, the sound, everything at its best. Zepp Bigbox definitely the best venue for an intimate concert like this. My heart was beating faster when they played the Phoenix as the intro. Since FOB's song was featured on Big Hero 6 and they appeared on VSFS when the Save Rock and Roll album came out, the crowd was "seem" to split into two crowds: the older generation (age 20 above) and the younger generation (age <20). I noticed it when the older generation screamed louder when FOB played their old songs such as Where's The Boy, Thnks Fr Th Mmrs, Sugar We're Going Down, I Don't Care, and vice versa. Don't get me wrong, I also love their latest album especially the entire songs of Save Rock and Roll. I couldn't stop jumping, dancing, screaming, and sing along with FOB. As usual, I didn't take so many pictures or videos because I was too busy enjoying the moment. This was the best bachelor gift from me to myself, lol. Well, my nostalgia would be absolutely complete if they played The Take Over, The Breaks Over. Unfortunately, they didn't but it was totally okay.

Listening to FOB really give me an ultimate nostalgia and I loved that finally, I made my childhood dream came true. It never came up in my mind that I would be watching their live concert after waiting for ten years. FOB has been growing up so far, I've been listening to their old albums (Take This To Your Grave, From Under The Cork Tree, etc) and also the latest. Their latest album is adding some electronic music which getting along with the music trends nowadays. To tell you the truth, I admit that I'm a bit disappointed because once they add EDM in their music, it'll never be the same. For me, FOB is a pop-punk band, that's it. I know it's a selfish thinking but that's FOB that I know so far. But, don't get me wrong, I also love their latest albums because no matter how they grow up, they still try their best to put FOB music character. Believe me, I still notice "oh this is FOB!" before I know the song's title/artist.

The proportion is a bit out of the grid/horizon. I concede that I've never been good at taking photos in the concert because I was busy jumping, dancing, screaming and sing along :'')

My face looks tired here but no fake smile is needed while taking selfie after the concert, lol 

Five of us!

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Life Updates

Picture source: Pinterest

Dear, fellas.

Oh yeah, it's me, again. I barely made a time to showing myself right here because there were many things that need to be more prioritized such as finishing my final thesis. I've checked my previous post about how gloomy I was about being in a creative block and couldn't do anything but complain while I had to pass it anyway. Well, yeah, I've passed it and let me introduce myself with my new degree: Laksita Rose, B.A! (S. Sn. if it converted in Bahasa). I had my final presentation yesterday and gladly everything went pretty smooth. I'm welcoming myself to the real-reality that this is only the first step I take and there are thousands of steps I need to take again. Time flies really fast and I just realized that it's been four years I've been in university. From learning how to draw from scratch, preparing a portfolio for the university application, learning design principles, learning the zoning and grouping of interior design, gaining knowledge about interior design that I've never heard before, and the list is endless. I have to admit that in university, I've learned a lot not only about academic things but also life lessons more than I had in 12-year of school.

So yeah. since I've been M.I.A. since February, well there are many things to be told here and to be honest I don't know where to start. After all these months, overall I'm happy but I have to admit I faced some obstacles too especially while finishing my thesis. I have to admit that having a creative block really ruins everything. Every week I had to report my progress to my lecturer but I couldn't do my best due to my lack of creativity. I also realized that doing your final project you do not only need a healthy body but also a healthy mind. I've been facing an emotional roller coaster and my mood swang from the north and to the south and back in nanoseconds for the reasons I can't explain here. I didn't know whether God just tested me to be a tougher person but I was emotionally sick back then. It frustrated me when I wanted to give my best but I couldn't. I concede that sometimes I was blaming myself that I could've done better if I didn't have that kind of issue.

But gladly, I passed them all.

And there are more steps I need to take in front of me. Life doesn't stop here.

This may sound old-fashioned, but I've been on Twitter lately, and I uninstalled my Instagram app for almost a month. Instagram has been so addictive to me and believe it or not, I could spend hours on Instagram just want to know what people were doing. I was rushing the deadline but Instagram kept haunting me all the time, so I decided to quit for awhile. My friends kept updating their project's progress through Instagram stories which really intimidated me back then. I followed accounts that I really love the contents such as traveling and photography. It was interesting seeing their feeds at first, but as time goes by it became toxic until I got envious every time I saw their posts and I compared my life with the others. It was toxic, it was. So, I decided to quit for awhile to make peace with myself and be more focused doing my final project. Now, I'm activating my Instagram again, it's pretty well seeing other's posts again, and what I feel right now by seeing them is not the same as I did weeks ago.

Well, the reason I've been on Twitter lately is the people there never fail to surprise me with the variety of their mind that keeps evolving every day, especially talking about the current social issue or anything that can be interesting to be discussed. I'm following some people with different experts so I'm gaining knowledge every time they share something interesting. I really like how the people with different backgrounds can unite in discussing specific interesting topics. And you know what? Most people on Twitter are tired of the life of Instagram, lol.

If you have read my previous posts, you'd probably know that I'm a concert go-ers. No matter how busy I was, I still made a time to watch concerts to avoid myself being insane. Lol. In February 16th, I supposed to watch Paramore live concert in Jakarta but unfortunately, the concert had to be postponed until this August due to Hayley's illness. The concert was canceled on the D-day when everyone was already in the venue and everyone was already in front of the stage. It was heartbreaking for all the fans who had made time for the concerts but there was nothing we could do. We understood that Hayley was not a machine and the postponed concert was the best for all of us.

The concert's journey doesn't stop there. Last month I've watched The Script (Jakarta) and Fall Out Boy (Singapore). Well, this post has been a pretty long post so I would write about them on the next post. Stay tuned!


LR

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Creative Block

Picture source: Pinterest

Dear, fellas.

How's your day going anyway? Yeah, it's been a month I don't write anything right here. Actually I have so many things to write about in my head but unfortunately, I don't really have time to pour them down. I'm in the middle of working my final thesis of this final semester, it's currently my first priority of everything since it will determine whether I will get a bachelor degree later. I only have four months left to finish the project and it's kinda stressing me out. Yeah I know I should let everything flow like a river but talk is cheap, right?

What stressing me out lately is I'm stuck in a creative block. I've been scrolling down through the design websites or anything that could give some kind of inspiration, and I've been scribbling the paper but it gives me nothing. My head is really empty and every week my lecturer requires me to show them some progress but I can't give my best. I've tried to take some break, go to some places while bringing my sketchbook with me, do almost everything that on the list of 'How to Overcome Creative Block' but you know what? I still got nothing. I kept asking myself why could this happen to me. Time flies so fast, the clock is ticking, but my progress still ends up nowhere.

So, what my final project is to design a Textile Museum in Jakarta through narrative methods. This museum collection is focused on Indonesian traditional textiles so that it has a rich cultural value and the craftsmanship is totally priceless. What makes it priceless is it's all made with hand-made technique and colorized with natural sources. It takes days and even months to finish a single fabric. Not only the techniques, for some people traditional textiles usually used for some rituals to worship the ancestor, or have a philosophy in the hope to give a better life. Some people used it for fulfilling their financial needs so that what makes them alive. Some fabrics were used by some kingdom to show a wealthiness and prosperity. So, basically, every single traditional textile has its own value, story, and wholeheartedly made. The purpose I'm using a narrative method to design this museum is to make the visitors easily comprehend the value of every collection and to make visitors not seeing them only as an object. Well, I don't want to elaborate every detail of my project here because I'm pretty sure it would take a hundred pages to explain.

So, what makes me frustrated lately is I cannot interpret the value of the traditional textiles into interior space. The designing interior is not about making a super fascinating space and the museum collection just put it right there. The museum collection needs to get along with the space and the space is required to be able to show the value and how priceless the Indonesian traditional textile is. I've made some alternatives design and showed them to my lecturer, but he said that I was too focused on the object. I mean, literally the object, not the story behind it or what makes it so valuable and the visitors have to easily comprehend it. Yeah I admit it that lately, I've been more focused on how this museum would look aesthetically pleasing so that the visitors would overwhelm everytime they went there, yet I'm really missing the point: to be able to communicate with the visitors, showing the mean of expression of traditional textiles, and to tell a story how traditional textiles mean to people especially as one of the identities of Indonesian culture.

When I understand the mission of the museum, the value of the collections, the design concept, but I still have no idea how to translate them into an interior space.

Oh, God.

My head is really stuck, my brain is empty, I kinda feel like I forget how to design. How could this happen to me in a such situation like this.

Yeah I guess I need to figure it out myself. I need to go back to my thesis. Wish me luck!


LR

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Marriage and Patriarchy in Indonesia

"Jadi lo kapan nikah?"

If that Bahasa Indonesia quote translated into English, it will be "when will you marry?". In Indonesia, it's no surprise that it's pretty common question especially if you're 20s or about to graduate from college. It's a pretty annoying question for some people because among all the questions people could ask, why does asking about marriage is their top list questions? Some people say that by asking that question is the same with invading someone's privacy, some people say that it gives them more pressure to marry as soon as possible especially for those who single, and some people say that they seem less valuable if they don't marry really soon no matter how much achievements they have. Yeah, be "less valuable" is the most common reason and this is what I concern in this post.

Yeah, there is some culture in Indonesia I really critical of, one of them is getting married as soon as possible. Marriage in Indonesia is something like it's a life goal that everyone should be fighting for, like no matter how many achievements you have, it's incomplete if you are not married. There are many people say "She's pretty. Unfortunately, she hasn't married yet", "He travels a lot. Unfortunately, he hasn't married yet", "She's the top singer of the year. Unfortunately, she hasn't married yet", "His business is already reaching its success. Unfortunately, he hasn't married yet", and the list is fucking endless. Just insert any kind of achievement in a sentence and end it up with "unfortunately, she/he hasn't married yet". Dear people out there, there's no correlation between the achievements and marriage. And do you think being married makes you a better person compared to someone who doesn't?

What makes it worse is sometimes women have a bigger pressure than men, and society gives women some kind of time-range of 'ideal age' to marry. And there's a big failure for women who pass that time-range. And what makes it unfair is men have no age limitation towards marriage. Some people say that women need to marry as soon as possible because they need to give birth as young as possible. Some people say that the older the women are, the more men have no interest to date them. What infuriates me is society seems like giving an 'expiry date' for women and women need to chase the 'buyer' before the 'expiry date'. It makes me thinking that people see marriage just like a race, like there's a finish line and people have to run as fast as possible and if you didn't make it to the finish line, you're a failure. I have to remind you that not everybody wants and READY to have a kid, and the value of people is not based on their age.

Some people in Indonesia still thinking that marriage is the ultimate solution. What puzzled me is what kind of solution? Many couples end up making problems that never exist in the first place because of marriage. Indonesia has a high number of child marriage and divorcement. And what makes it hilarious is the reason they do child marriage mostly about to increase their economic status. How can it be possible to increase the economic status when they have to sacrifice their education and starting to marry without any job or income? And what makes me furious is how these couples dare to have kids in a situation like that. Don't ask me how they feed or educate their kids, I don't want to know even more.

In Indonesia, some people still thinking that women have to sacrifice their career in order to marry someone. Some people say that no matter how many achievements a woman has, their main role is to taking care the kids and staying at home. Some people still thinking that a woman has to downgrade herself so that a man wouldn't be intimidated by her, and a woman has to obey what her husband says. I disagree with this. Only insecure men who are intimidated by the smart women, and if you have a boyfriend who is supporting you through ups and downs and let you shine so bright, keep him. Some people still thinking that marriage is an ultimate solution for the women so that they don't have to work anymore, just let the husband do the career. In Indonesia, many women don't want to divorce their husband because they're financially dependent on their husband. Dear women out there, I suggest that you think again if you want to sacrifice your career or make a Plan B so that you would have the power to leave your shitty husband soon.

There's a hilarious yet annoying campaign on Instagram that persuades people to marry as young as possible to ultimately avoid zinah. The people behind the campaign spreading the campaign that dating is sinful and you will end up in flaming hell so the ultimate solution is getting married. The sooner the couple marry, the better couple they would be because they are 'halal'. Dear the people behind that campaign, do you think dating is only about holding hands, kissing, and having sex? And by spreading that campaign make you a holy person? I was giggle when I knew that because for me marriage is more than that. It's about lifetime commitment and a huge decision.

I remember when I was gathering with my high school friends, one of my friends asked me what I would do after graduation. I said that I would be working as an interior designer, met clients from various backgrounds, traveled, volunteered to any kind of event, established a clothing-line or culinary business, and many more. I said that my top priority was to be independent both mentally and financially so that I would no longer rely on my parents. Knowing that marriage wasn't my top priority was surprised them. They said that if I were too focused on my dream, no man would want to marry me because it would intimidate them, and it was my turn to surprised. And I said to them that I have no interest in a man who was intimidated by me, and someone who loved me was someone who with me through ups and downs including reaching my dreams.

Well, I just realized that this is such a long post, lol. Too much emotion in this post and I guess I need to stop here. It's been so long I want to write this down publicly, hope this could open up people's mind. 

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